


quiet, i brace for the drift

by wolfchester



Series: another universe [1]
Category: The Society (TV 2019)
Genre: Dealing With Trauma, Gen, lots of screaming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-06-09 16:20:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19479568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfchester/pseuds/wolfchester
Summary: everything is awful, but everything is fine. then cassandra has the audacity to get murdered, and allie’s world is flipped upside down all over again.





	quiet, i brace for the drift

**Author's Note:**

> title from: 'every night' by perfume genius.
> 
> this is a prelude to my multi-chapter 'a million little battles' -- of which the first chapter is up nowww.
> 
> i wrote this to give ya'll a glimpse into how allie might have initally reacted to cassandra's death. short n sweet 
> 
> enjoy xxxx

When she was in English class back in high school, back Before, her teacher would always tell them that phrases used to describe shock and surprise like “the floor fell out from under her feet” were clichés, and that clichés were to be avoided.  _ There are so many other ways you can describe these feelings, _ Ms Harris would say,  _ be creative! _

Well fuck a career as an author, then, because that cliché is the only way Allie can express how she feels when Gordie tells her that her sister has died.

‘Died’ is too soft a word for it. 

Murdered. Her sister was fucking murdered in cold blood, shot by a classmate, no less. By someone who for whatever perverted reason felt it was their right to rip the life from Cassandra, and who gets to still live and breathe and walk around this town while her sister’s body grows cold under a thick layer of dirt.

Allie keeps it together for the funeral. Barely.

_ I need a day, _ she texts Gordie the morning after. He replies in a few seconds:  _ take all the time you need. _

Being around people--living, breathing people, so much more alive than Cassandra--is too much to bear. She needs to get away. Just for a moment. To begin to process what’s happened to her: her old life disappearing, this new town, what went on with Harry fucking Bingham (a situation that seems so pitifully small in the wake of this new tragedy), and the fact that some bastard killed her sister.

To be able to scream as loud as she wants without anyone hearing her would be nice, too.

She goes out into the woods. The woods, which used to be just a patch of trees on the border of town. The woods, extending now forever.

She goes out into the woods and walks and walks until her legs give out. Mud splashes across her jeans as she kneels on the ground. Leaves crunch under her palms, fingernails digging in. She lowers her head, raises it, then lets out the most primal scream. It echoes through the trees. 

This animalistic roar gives way to chest-wracking sobs, one after the other. 

“You left me!” she cries into the nothingness, curling in on herself. “You left me! Why didn’t you take me with you? I want you to take me with you!”

If Cassandra is somewhere out there listening, she doesn’t respond. The woods are silent, too. It is comforting and alienating all at once.

God, she just wants to die. She half hopes some crazy person will appear from behind a tree and raise a gun in her direction, pull the trigger, blow her fucking brains out. Allie has never been particularly religious, but if it’s true that there’s a Heaven, Cassandra would be there. And all Allie wants to do is to be with her again.

The floor did fall. Her body didn’t. 

Instead, she’s been stuck in a perpetual state of levitation. Her feet can’t touch the ground, because where even is the ground anymore? Allie’s floating, and floating, and floating, desperate for connection with something concrete.

She won’t find it.

Not here.

Not without Cassandra.

And it breaks her fucking heart.

How long she spends lying in that mud, she is unsure of. She lays there and cries until the tears dry up and her sobs give way to deep breaths and sleep. She awakens to the feeling of raindrops wetting her face, soaking her clothes. The sky has grown dark. No stars.

Rain! Ha. She wants to laugh. Rain is fitting for a day like this.

The walk back to town is long and wet. When she finally arrives home, Gordie and Grizz are in her lounge waiting for her.

“Allie? Are you okay? You’re soaked!” Gordie asks, voice hushed and worried, as she walks through the door.

She pushes him away none too gently, not in the mood for niceties. “I don’t wanna talk,” she grumbles. Noticing the hurt look on his face, she continues, “No offense, or anything. I’m just-- I’m tired.” She sighs, and picks at dried mud on the palm of her hand. “I’m going to bed.”

Gordie, the understanding friend that he is, nods and lets her move past him towards the stairs. Grizz watches her with sad eyes. She feels strangely like a failure.

What follows Cassandra’s death are some twisted turns of events.

Somehow, Allie is voted in as the new leader of New Ham. 

Somehow, she becomes the one everyone turns to for help.

Somehow, Will is with Kelly and Allie is alone.

Somehow, she manages to be heartbroken over two people at once.

Somehow, Gordie and Bean figure out they may be living in an alternate universe.

Somehow, Allie becomes a murderer. But is it really murder if it’s the carrying out of justice?

Somehow, Allie grows stronger and wiser and learns to keep her emotions tucked in close to her chest.

The floor’s still gone, but she’s getting used to floating.

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr @buckebarns to yell about your love for allie pressman


End file.
